Call of Cthulhu and everything related to the official game are property of Chaosium (http://www.chaosium.com)
Toon and its system is owned by Steve Jackson Games (http://www.sjgames.com)

Hand-wrenching terror. Stomach cramping laughter. Strange bedfellows, indeed. But like a smoothie, when properly blended, it can be quite enjoyable and often fruit flavored. Wait, scratch that last part. Regardless of the fruit content of your gaming session, the lack of a final 'death' in Toon often spurs risk-taking and great role-playing. In Call of Cthulhu, risk-taking will get you eaten by something with more mouths than legs. Because of the high character burial rate, it's often necessary to 'come down' from a tense session - otherwise in the next game, your heroes will be running away from moss. Toon's inherint light-heartedness will allow them to face their worst fears with a glib comment and a goofy mallet. Players will be less reluctant to have their heads detonated when they know that in three minutes they'll have a new one fresh from ACME. With that said, let's get on with Call of Ctoonthu: Elder God Horror in Eepton!

Premise: Each of the toons has traveled from Anytown to Eepton to attend PieCon, the annual Pie Technology Expo. This year is a big one because Chemical United Systems, Technology And Research and Development (CUSTARD) is unveiling their ultra-fine lumpless custard replacement. The custard replacement is entirely synthetic and as lumpless as it claims... but is it right?

Animator info: The advent of the Ultra-fine lumpless custard replacement has angered Cthulhu and the rest of the Great Old Ones - a great deal of them had plans for custard. They seek to eliminate the source of the inspiration, then the inventors, then the product, then the factory, then the city, then the planet - just for good measure.
The night before PieCon, each of the toons are constantly awakened by repeated telephone calls. Upon picking up the receiver, a ghastly voice screams "Ftaghn!", and then the line goes dead. If they, in anyway, suspect that they expect the forthcoming 'ftaghn', they get one of the following:
    Roll 1d6
  1. "What? What? Ahhhhhh! *click*
  2. "Neo, I want to tell you about the Matrix..."
  3. "Hello, Clarise..."
  4. "Charlie? Look, I know ya don't wanna talk ta me, but if ya just come down here and sign dese papers, you don't gotta hear from me ever again..."
  5. "Yeah, can I get a large potato and crab pizza?"
  6. *fax noises*
The next morning, the toons leave their respective hotels for PieCon. Upon their arrivals, they each wander the facilities and check out the booths. The main booth they each notice is a small, understated (read: shack) that has a single sign on it: 'ftaghn'. The booth is empty, but a small placard resquests that they attend the CUSTARD exhibit and return here afterwards. Evntually (at noon) they get to the CUSTARD exhibit, and the presentation ensues. At the beginning of the spiel, each toon makes an ID Dangerous Thing roll. Success indicates that they think something's wrong. Exactly what, they are unsure of - but something seems deeply not-right.

Custard guy's spiel:
Hi, I'm Traipse Carefullly, Vice-President of Chemicals Unlimited Systems, Technology and Applied Research and Development; or as you know us, CUSTARD. Our new product, which I'm sure you're all dying to see [nice spot to throw in an audience member having a heart attack or something], is proof positive why we are the industry leader. And remember... all the good pies have 'custard' in them.

At this point, the Custard replacement is unveiled and people oooh and ahhh over it. Toon PCs must make an ID Dangerous Thing check. Success indicates that the Toon fully percieves the horror this yellow goop will bring to the world, but thankfully their brain wipes all memory of it as soon as possible and they can resume normal (?) function in a few seconds. In short, they get boggled. Soon, the doors to the expo center are flung open by guys in cloaks and hats that look like octopi.

The leader (presumably) leaps up onto the booth with the 'ftaghn' sign on it and makes overly-dramatic gestures, saying "Our god is displeased! Repent now and destroy the abomination! Dra`al ftaghn! Save yourselves by shunning the custard replacement and custard... that is, the company CUSTARD. Use only real custard of face the wrath of our god! Dra`al ftaghn!" and continues to rant.

If questioned, the 'leader' will be irritated at the interruption and handle any inquiries as evasivly and as abruptly as possible. If pressed, they man will provide a pamphlet - and continue ranting. Eventually (just before it stops being funny), security escorts the men from the premisise. If the 'ftaghn' booth is investigated afterwards, they'll find a creepy-looking book bound in cow flesh with weird symbols on the cover. The book is the Necronomicon (expurgated edition).

As anyone who has played Call of Cthulhu knows, books have power. Specifically the power to teach magic, summon and bind extradimensional entities, drive you insane and, worst of all, educate you... but mostly the insanity thing. To represent this in Call of Ctoonthu, mythos books have a Fast-Talk skill. If the book's Fast Talk rating exceeds the Toon's Resist Fast-Talk skill, the Toon doesn't even get a roll to resist. Otherwise, the Toon makes the Resist roll and the book makes it's Fast-Talk roll - lowest successful roll wins. The bibliography format is as follows:

Book name
Details
skim (fast-talk rating): failure effects
read (fast-talk rating): failure effects

Bibliography
Cthulhu Cult Pamphlet: 6th Edition
Written in english, except for back panel. The two fast-talk ratings are differing difficultes based on whether or not the reader actually believes this crap.
skim (2)/(0): Too scared to read further. Any attempts to do so will result in the temporary vacation of the eyes.
read (3)/(2): If a non-believer, they become a believer. If a believer, their faith is strengthened.

More forthcoming... questions, comments welcome @ webmaster@microsponge.org