Zombie: The Fasting

The Fasting: Zombie apocalypse, when there are no more human brains to consume

any myths surround the existance of 'zombies'. In ancient times, people belived that if someone's life force, their vitality, their 'joy of life' was so great, then someone, once dead, could 'come back' and finish off a few last quick jobs. In the religion of Voodoo, a 'Houngan' can call up the recently-dead to do their bidding. And in recent years, the shock-horror genre of films has spawned a whole new definition of what zombies are: rotting corpses with no other intentions than to crack open human skulls and feast on the precious brains within.

Zombies are real. And the closest to the truth is, sadly, the last one. They quite often are rotting corpses, though not always, and require fresh human brains to survive. The difference is that they are not (always) the stupid, lumbering predators they are portrayed as. Some simply have pale skin. Others move quite quickly. Others still are determined to find another suitable source of nutrition. Your neighbor, co-worker, best friend or even spouse may be a zombie. Well, probably not that last one, but you get the idea: zombies are everywhere. Remember that.

But things are never that simple. It's not just a horde of zombies all slowly plodding around bludgeoning everyone they see. Zombies are human, after all; they fight and vy for power amongst themselves. Since the first zombies pulled themselves out of the ground in the Dark Ages, there have been separate factions of zombies with different goals in mind. The first faction to arise was the Humanis Post Mortim (if they can pronounce it, chances are they're one); a faction that postulated the coming of The Fasting as well as dedicating itself to preventing it. The next faction that came about was the Nrrrrg (proun: 'nurrrr-g), dedicated to eating brains. A few dissatisfied Nrrrrg formed the Grnagha, (proun: gur-'nag-ha) dedicated to eating brains in a different manner. Trust me, it all makes sense to them, and it is very important. The Rarrnng (proun: 'rar-nnnnn-g) came about later, as humanity became more civilized. the Rarrnng have closer ties to their humanity and try to sustain themselves on animal brains, or at least eat human brains and feel guilty afterwards. Ah, but I've forgotten the Mrahhnno (proun: mm-'rahh'-no) who came between the Rarrng and the Grnagha. They like to kill humans and eat their brains and then lie about it later. In fact, the faction arose when a Nrrrrg had killed a human and eaten his brain, then inadvertantly dropped a large weight on his head, eliminating the eveidence of brain consumption. When asked about the incident, he repiled with the closest he could manage to an "I dunno". The Mrahhnno belive their faction name to be a power word.

So there you are - a peek into the mainstream zombie factions. There are of course, many smaller 'splinter' factions, but they are viewed much as you probably look at the Police: good for balancing power, but you wouldn't count on them in a war. And that's what this is - a war. Each faction thinks it's the only right one, fighting each other in the streets like skirmishing gangs.

I think right now that this is the only way we'll stop The Fasting.

Signed,

        Arthur Q. Straed, deceased
            Humanis Post Mortim

*So you're a zombie now...*

alutations. Arthur Q. Straed, deceased back again. I see you've joined us. Well, rest assured (no pun intended, I assure you) there are some benefits to being 'differently vitalitied'. For one, you are not bound by the human features of exhaustion, asphyxiation or pain. On the other hand, you will have that pesky penchant for human brains. I'll try to itemize the differences, to make it easier for you.

Most notable is effectively immortality. Unless someone aerates your thinker, you'll effectively live forever.
Invulnerability to (most) poisons / diseases is less noticable, unless you happen to drop your lunch in something particularly nasty. Keep in mind that there are some particularly potent poisons that break down organic matter quite efficiently (without the need of a standard digestive process) and even some singular diseases a zombie can catch.
As I said before, you no longer need to breathe. A great way to be left alone - just walk to the bottom of your nearest lake.
Exceptional strength also comes in quite handy for skull fracturing in a hurry, as well as breaking down doors.
Endurance in spades. You can chase people forever, just like in the movies.
Chances are you'll actually have a high pain tolerance, but don't panic if you feel some. Most pain is the result of a residual mortality effect; you expect pain, so you get pain. Also, most members of the Humanis Post Mortim guild feel some pain at some point; which leads me to humbly belive that it is linked to higher intellegence and higher brain functions.
Control over severed limbs - great for pranks.
Then there's the overplayed brain hunger. That's rather complicated, so I'll get to that in the next section.
Oh yeah, the envy of the living. This one's rough - it can be quite intense at times. It's not a coincidence that a lot of teenagers get brain-ectomies whilst engaged in... 'activites', shall we say?
Which brings us to the next item, the non-existant sex drive. Don't worry, you wont' miss it. Seriously - you'll notice that you have no desire to indulge in most of your 'fleshly desires'. Oh, you'll remember them all right, but your mind won't be able to get from point 'A' to point 'B' or motivate you to do so.
You may or may not have rotting flesh / muscles. This is mostly a 'fitting in' issue. Whatever forces have us up and about again don't seem to care how athletic or smart we used to be, or even what's there anywmore.

*The big question*

rains - why? Why not hearts, or some other vital organ? I mean, the Vampires got blood - that makes sense; but brains? I just don't get it.

But however you slice it, fresh human brains do the trick. You probably feel the hunger even now. Notice how it's much more intense than regular hunger? You can try to fill it with anything else, but I guarantee that you shan't be able to keep it in for long. Within minutes, your body will reject any food you put in it - toast, ginger ale, lettuce, it matters not.

There has also been a demonstrable link between higher intellegence and greater 'nutrition' (for lack of a better term). This was once believed to be a placebo effect, a remanant from the human social moré which held that harder to acquire foods were a delicacy; but recent studies have been contrary to that belief. For example, the Rarrnng who exclusively feast on non-human brains have to feed more often due to this effect; most other animals don't have as much in the 'higher brain functions' category. Zombies, however, say 'humanitarian' the way humans say 'vegetarian'. Of course, I suppose that's not your problem anymore, is it?

*What all this means in game terms*

ombie life is a lot less complicated than a great many of it's alternatives. As a zombie, you have 4 primary attribute types:

Physical
Social
Mental

All right, I lied, there's only three. But there are plenty of sub-attributes related to the 4 3 main attributes

Physical	Social	Mental
Strength	Charisma	Perception
Dexterity	Manipulation	Intelligence
Stamina	Appearance	Wits

Select one of these 'types' as your primary, secondary and tertiary types. You get 7 points to distribute among your primary type attributes, 5 points to distribute among your secondary attribute types, and 3 for your tertiary attributes. All attributes start with one point in them, and you can make any attribute a maximum total of five points but since you're a zombie, there are a few restrictions / notes:

Your mental attributes all start at zero instead of one
Your stamina is automatically 5
A mental rating of zero means that the character loses control whenever there's even the remotest possiblity of getting a free meal.

*Abilities*

ou didn't think every Zombie was identical, did you? Nay, we are as varied as the living. You get 13 points of skills related to your primary attribute, 9 related to your secondary and 5 to related tertiary skills.

Ability	Related Attribute	In game speak
Efficient beating	Physical	1: Any zombie can use brute strength to beat the crap outta something, but you can get it done quicker. 2: Your repitiore of techniques includes: "Pushing them off balance then beating the holy hell outta 'em". 3: ...and "Sneaking up on 'em and beating the holy hell outta 'em". 4: Ability comparable to a trained living fighter. 5: You could give Jackie Chan's zombie a run for his money.
Durability	Physical	1: Relatively little decomposition in the sinews. 2: Your tendons are sitll quite intact and can survive under the sort of strain that could lead to dismemberment in others. 3: You fall apart about as often as humans do. 4: Your zombie pals can't pull off your arms when you're not looking. 5: They tried to draw and quarter you, but the horses got tired.
Zombie dodge	Physical	1: Also called 'falling'. 2: You can make quick evasive movements, but chances are they won't be too graceful. 3: You can fall on your back faster than a... naw, I won't go there. 4: Are you telling me I can dodge bullets? 5: No, I'm saying that when you're ready, you won't have to.
Climb	Physical	1: For those tricky instances when you just can't coordinate enough zombie bodies to make a staircase to your next victim. 2: People can't escape you in trees. 3: People can't escape you on the second floor. 4: People can't escape you on buildings. 5: People can't escape you on greased poles.
Unintentional Stealth	Physical	1: Sleeping people are freebies. 2: Concentrating people are freebies. 3: Distracted people are freebies. 4: People facing the other way are freebies. 5: People are freebies.
Practical anatomy	Mental	1: You know where the brain and the spine are located. 2: You know what to hit and how to do so in order to optimize your expended energy / mutilation ratio. 3: You know that the best way to slow down a person is to apply direct force to the genitals. 4: 50 pounds per square inch on a pressure point? 5: You eviscerate surgeons for the irony.
Weapon	Mental	1: You've got a weapon of choice. 2: You've got a weapon of choice - for each hand, that is. 3: It's always nice to have a backup weapon... 4: ...or two.... 5: If it's not a weapon, you're not creative enough. <Suggested specializations include edged, blunt, flexible (such as chains / whips), small arms (not children's appendages; that would be blunt), and even (god help us) demolitions.> Storytellers' note: Players who take this skill should have a good back story as to why weapon use was so ingrained into the character's life that he came back up with it.
Zombie Leadership	Mental	1: Zombies turn to you by default. 2: You can plunk a couple thoughts in a few empty heads. 3: You can override another zombie's will. 4: You can 'strongly suggest' large groups of zombies within sight. 5: You can control legions of zombies with your mind.

*Vantages, Dis and Ad*

ore ways to distinguish yourself from the other brain-munchers out there.

Advantages:

April Fresh (2): Your zombie actually doesn't smell like rotting flesh. Good for you... but not good enough to fool animals.
Double-jointed (2): Well, not in the usual way - your joints have deteriorated to the point where pivot points are more like a suggestion. During any dexterity-related check, you may remove one botch.
Early Riser (3): The zombie character is, based only on physical appearance, indistinguishable from your typical human.
Efficiant stomach (4): Your body can process brains efficiently, allowing you to go twice as long without feasting
Protein reserves (1): Your body is still able to use protein, and as such, your hair and nails still grow.

Disadvantages:

Essence of the Brick (-1): Reduce one of your mental traits by one (you can take this disadvantage more than once)
Latent actions (-2): Anytime you need to react quickly, you get one additional botch.
Leprosy (-3): Or rather, a bizarre form of it. Your dead flesh decays and falls off, but after feeding it regenerates.
Moaning (-4): Once during each encounter with a human, you might accidentally scream "BRAINS!".
Ulcers (-3): Your body is covered in black sores that just look generally icky.

*Combat*
"

inally", the munchkins are saying. But fear not, legitimate gamers - rocket launchers are quite rare in the world of Zombie: The Fasting. Well... for the players to acquire, that is. Who knows how often the military will be called in? And even if your players get ahold of some weapon of mass destruction, chances are none of them will be smart enough to know which way to point it.

*Storyteller's Section*

f you're not acting as the Storyteller, I'll have to ask you to stop reading this. This section contains background data and tables, as well as statisitcal analysis that you'd probably find quite uninteresting.

Well, I guess I can't stop you. Ahem.

Now, Storyteller (at least try to pretend you are), let's get down to the secrets....

The Beginning

God created the heavens and the earth. One of his angels, Lucifer, gave him some lip, so he kicked him out of paradise and condemned him to roam the Earth and think about what he'd done. Lucifer did, and he believed himself to be in the right, so he began to plan his takover of heaven. Lucifer, now calling himself Satan (hebrew: 'great deceiver'), made his way throughout the Earth wreaking general havoc. Without even trying, evil followed him. In his path, normally peaceful people did horrible things to their neighbors. Satan's aura of evil became so powerful that the pious dead struggled in their graves.

Time continued to pass, as it often does, and the Crusades came. Satan, utterly thrilled at the slaugter performed in the name of God, went to gloat at king Charlemange's tomb. Satan made a few snide comments about how wonderful it was to have his work blamed on God, and how he was finally beginning to get back at that bastard for his one-sided views; when the grave dirt began to churn. Satan staggered backwards in shock as the dead king, enraged, leapt from the earth and bared his old broadsword. Satan brandished his flaming sword, which now was burning with the fires of Hell itself, and a climactic, albiet brief battle ensued. Defeated and broken, Satan bent King Charlemange's will and transformed him into the precursor of modern zombies.

Confused, Charlemange lumbered into his old Castle and attacked the current king, whom he viewed as a usurper. The guards present attacked the intruder, his features unrecognizable after so many years. Charlemange's body was dismembered and burned. Satan, meanwhile, had discovered the ultimate insult to God - to turn his 'beloved' into cannibals and the destoyers of their own.

To this day, Satan continues to roam the earth, insulting the dead on their own graves until they rise for rebuttal.

The Humanis Post Mortim

The majority of the Humanis Post Mortim can feel at least shadows of pain. As noted earlier by Arthur Q. Straed, deceased, they believe that this is due to their higher intellegence. They're half right.

When Satan raises a zombie, he engages them in a test of wills. Occasionally, Satan doesn't fully defeat them (he always wins, but not totally), they retain a certain amount of thir humanity. A major side-effect of this is that they retain the one of the lesser parts of humanity: pain - but they also gain the biggest - higher intellegence and logical thought.

'The Fasting' is a construct of the Humanis Post Mortim. Don't interpret that as the same as it being fake - The Fasting is very real. The Humanis Post Mortim realized this simple inverse parabolic relationship: the number of humans required to sustain H zombies is H squared. As the population percentage of zombies approaches one, the population percentage of humans available must approach one squared. This means that the highest the population percentage of zombies can be while sill holding The Fasting at bay is roughly 9.5124921972504.

Z^pp ->1 ^ H^pp2 ->1, therefore (Z=H²), therefore Z²+Z<100 Z~=9.5124921972504.

Giving themselves a buffer for the other faction's unpredictable behaviors, they call this the Nine Percent Solution. This is the only reason that the Humanis Post Mortim will start 'turf wars' - to keep the numbers in check.

There is a small secret faction within the Humanis Post Mortim that call themselves The Editors. Thre are two types of zombies that are part of The Editors - the world's most brilliant zombie scientists and their enforcers. The Editors are attempting to discover what exactly inside human brains sustains zombie existance and to create a synthetic replication of it, allowing zombies and humans to peacefully coexist.

The Editors faction was founded by Albert Einstein, shortly after his death. He theorized that there must be some way to survive without eating brains, but he had little knowledge in the applicable area, so he began to recruit the smartest zombies that ever clawed their way back up. In addition to biochemists and nutritionists, he foresaw the value of raw muscle in keeping The Editors secret.

Major players

King Charlemange
Incidentally, remember the fate of Charlemange? Although his body was burned and the pieces scattered, the brain was intact. The head has been moved around several times, and no one is sure of it's current location, but Charlemange is still very much undead. The existance of Charlemange's head, as well as the belief that it is an oracle are both correct. In fact, the head is the only part of any zombie or human that knows the truth about their rising. The head will only speak when directly addressed (ie, using his name) and will only answer questions with a minimum amount of information. Its eyes remain closed until it speaks, and when it finishes it shuts its eyes again. If the Humanis Post Mortim believed in its existance for even a moment, they'd hunt it down as best they could.

Albert Einstein
After his integral role in the development of the nuclear bomb, Einstein was wracked with guilt. After his sad and lonely death, Satan immediately took the opportunity to get in some really good rips about the bomb, mere hours after the funeral. Einstein quickly rose to defend his beliefs and proved difficult for Satan to defeat - he retained a great deal of his humanity, and as such still feels the guilt of his previous life. In an effort to give back to humanity as much as he felt he had taken, he founded The Editors. Since then he has thrown himself into learning more about chemistry so he can advance his cause, although that is not his primary motivation. Einstein has a secret project - not even the other Editors know about it. Since his rising and subsequent formation of The Editors, Einstein has been researching zombie weaknesses for an essay he plans to release to the U.S. government, should the Nine Percent Solution fail.
Lucifer
Satan, meanwhile continues to roam the earth, creating zombies. In addition to 'creating' zombies, he can do a few more things to them. A zombie can 'give up' and ask Lucifer to banish them to the void; or challenge him. In general, Lucifer is willing to banish their souls. After all, then there is no chance he'll rebel. As for the challenge, that's a no-hold-barrred high stakes game - if the zombie wins, he gets to rest in peace; otherwise he's trapped in the subconscious of his body: a mere observer of the atrocites his body commits. The game can be anything, and the zombie can win, but it's hard. Consider Lucifer to have a skill rating of 7 in everything, and he never cheats unless he catches you doing it.

FAQ / Recap

1] What caused the dead to rise? Satan or something?

Yup.

2] Are there any other races of zombies?

No. The whole point of a zombie's existance is to spit in God's eye. Animals would just eat animal brains, and Vampire zombies would eat Vampire brains; and God doesn't love them as much as he does humans, so the irony is lost.

3] What was that 10 percent thingy?

That's nine percent, genius. The nine percent solution is the Humanis Post Mortim theory that the highest percentage of the world population that can be zombies and still prevent The Fasting is nine.

parody by clank-o-tron

A message to White Wolf:
You can't sue me, parody is protected by law!
Oh yeah, and 'White Wolf', the 'World of Darkness' system and 'Vampire: The Masquerade' (I don't think I mentioned it, but I might have) and all related indica are the property of White Wolf publishing. Oh , and if I missed something, please email me before you sue. Thanks! And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle looks like after the candle is blown out...